I don’t really believe in the “if you haven’t worn it in X years, throw it away” philosophy. Look, I have shoes from 1996. That’s like before some of you were born.
Srsly, do you stand in front of the closet in frustration, wondering what to wear? Part of it may be that you need to clean it out! [I mean, who doesn‘t need to clean their closet, right?] It will really help if your wardrobe were full of items that are flattering, and fit that you favor !
It can be so confusing when so many styles are “in,” but if you’re a grown woman, there are a few that are definitely “out.” So here’s Grace’s list of things to throw away. Topping the list:
1. The “Mom” Jean: Click on the link. Go ahead, I’ll wait.
I love the phrase, ‘Because you’re not a woman, you’re a mom.’
Those women are skinny in real life and they still look like a wide-load, imagine what “real-life” women look like. If the pants
- have pleats at the waist
- have an elastic waist
- snap higher than your belly-button
- are acid-washed
throw them away!
In a very close second place:
2. Baggy Tops: If the shoulder hangs below your shoulder, then throw it away. That includes big, boxy tee shirts and your husband’s sweatshirt you absconded.
3. The Dirdl Skirt: Unless you’re milking a cow and/or your religion requires it, throw it away. Lots of styles are in, but even Alpine peasants don’t wear these anymore.
Comfy does not = frumpy!
4. The Baggy Jumper: They may hide all your flaws, but they hide all your good features, too. Nobody looks good in one of these. Not JLo, not Angelina, nobody.
And a cousin of the Baggy Jumper:
5. Overalls: If you are 4 years old and under, you may keep them. If you are a farmer, you may keep them…maybe.
No, I do not think that outfit from J. Jill is cute. Remember, that model is 5′-10″, 110 lbs and has no hips.
6. Matching Set: If the bottom has a print, and that print is echoed on the top, then throw it away. You’ll notice that these outfits come with a dirndl skirt or elastic-waist pants. I rest my case.
7. If you don’t like it: Even if your favorite Aunt Sally got it for you from her trip around the world. Even if your husband bought it for your birthday 5 years ago. Especially! because you don’t want him doing it again!!
I can hear you, you know. I’m a mom, too, so not only do I have eyes in the back of my head, I have ears everywhere! I can hear all the reasons why you want to keep those things. If you’re saying, “but I only wear this around the house,” then my response has to be, “Don’t you want to be attractive for your husband and a good role model to your children?”
Go ahead. Do it. The next time you stand in front of your closet to find something to wear, you’ll be glad you did.
And I haven’t even talked about shoes.