Ojon Hair

In my twenties, I had gorgeous long hair.  It was shiny and silky and smooth.  It has never been thick or remarkable in any way, but it’s always been pretty enough to not have to think much about it.  (Does that make any sense?  It did to me.) 

Then last fall something happened.  All of the sudden, or so it seemed, my hair became dull, dry, and lifeless.  People even started mentioning it.  Now THAT’S bad.  I also noticed that it was not styling very nicely.  I thought that was due to an unfortunate haircut, so I went to someone new.  I thought that my thin, lifeless hair might need layers to give it some volume.

BIG mistake.

I did not need layers.  I needed Rogaine.  But neither I nor my hairdresser realized that.  And so she did as I asked and cut layers.  Lots of them.  You could SEE through my hair.  I thought it was because of the layers, so I went to someone else.  She took another inch off the length and tried to blend the layers.  My hair was still dull and lifeless, but at least you couldn’t see through it anymore.

THEN I went to the fourth and final hairdresser.  Yes.  Four hairdressers in about six weeks.  You can imagine the shock to my checkbook.  This is when I discovered that not only was my hair dull and lifeless due to over styling and not caring for it with proper products, but one side is about half as thick as the other side.  And ironically, it is NOT the side where I part my hair.  Even with my hair parted on the OTHER side, the thin side is freakishly thin.  My hairdresser is even flustered by this.  We have been pain-stakingly growing the layers out, trying to compensate for this odd discrepancy, but it appears that it’s just the way it is.

I have no idea if it has always been this way and I didn’t notice when it was longer and healthier, or if this is a new development, but either way, it’s something we have to compensate for when cutting and styling my hair.  Joy.

Meanwhile I ditched the flat iron that I had been using for years, and in invested in some intensive hair restructuring treatments and deep conditioners.  For a while, things were looking better, but I have run out of products, and my hair is once again getting dull and dry.  It was time for DRASTIC measures.

So I went (wait for it!) to Sephora.

SHOCKER!

The girl in the store turned me on to these Ojon products that she said she’s obsessed with.  She gave me this big song and dance about how the exotic oil used in Ojon products is harvested by some tribe in South America, and a portion of the proceeds from the product goes to supporting the South American rain forests or some such worthy cause.  She ALSO said that Ojon products are "all natural" and that she could eat it if she wanted to.  By the end of her schpiel I was almost convinced these hair products could end the war in Iraq and bring the price of gas back down to a reasonable two dollars a gallon.  (Do you remember when we thought $2 a gallon was HIGH for gas?  It seems like another lifetime.)

Well, evidently her sales pitch worked because I walked out of the mall with a bag of new Ojon products. 

I got home and started doing some highly scientific internet research, where I learned that "all natural" and "safe enough to eat" are NOT the same thing, which you probably already knew because you are smart like that, but to me it was a big DUH moment.  I mean, as a friend pointed out, snake venom and toxic mushrooms are "all natural" but not exactly something you want to eat.  So fortunately I had no plans to ingest my shampoo because my new "all natural" Ojon shampoo is a 5 on the Cosmetic Safety Database.

Then I looked at the bottle, and it’s made in Italy.  I guess I missed the chapter about the Italian rain forests in school.  More research reveals that the OIL comes from the rain forests, and the SHAMPOO comes from Italy.  Any-WHO.

I decided to try it because, hey, Sephora has a money back guarantee, and it’s no more toxic than all the other not-so-all-natural stuff I’ve been using for years.  (I know, all you go green, granola crunchies are cringing in horror by now.)

Were you looking for a review on Chic Critique today?  Okay, okay.  I’m getting there.  SO!  I eagerly jumped into the shower the next morning and opened my brand-spanking-new bottle of Ojon Shine & Protect Shampoo, and I’ll tell you this much.  The scent is TO DIE FOR.  YUM.  Maybe I WOULD have actually been tempted to eat it, had I not informed myself about the big "all natural" hoax that is sweeping the nation. 

In case you didn’t get it the first time, this stuff smells DIVINE.  I used it, as well as the Ojon Ultra Hydrating Conditioner, and I was quite pleased with performance as well as the smell.  I certainly didn’t get the hair of a supermodel overnight, but I do think this is going to perform well for me.  Except for one little problem.  After three uses, I have discovered a chink in the armor of Ojon.

My scalp?  It itches.  BIG time.  And I have to believe it’s the new hair products.  I had this happen once before, when I tried a new hair product, and as soon as I went off of it, my scalp stopped itching.  Fortunately that was a $3.99 CVS special, so I tossed it in the trashcan and never looked back.

THIS stuff, however, was not $3.99.  It wasn’t even $13.99.  And it is going right back.  Fortunately Sephora stands behind their products, so this week sometime, if my daughter ever stops running a fever, my itchy scalp and I will march right back to the store and ask for a refund.  Or probably another set of expensive products.  Because I am a glutton for punishment.

So I’ll give the Ojon 5 out of 5 stars for fragrance, 4 out of 5 stars for performance, and 0 out of 5 stars for itchy scalp.  Meanwhile, can anyone suggest a great moisturizing shampoo and heavy-duty conditioner for fine, thin, stressed out hair that doesn’t make your scalp itch?  I’d be much obliged.