Wait. You don't WANT to smell like a funeral home?

When I lived in LA, one of my favorite things about it was finding weird stuff. Which wasn’t hard to do. One time I saw two men chained together at the nose.

However, I was more referring to weird makeup stuff. I am willing to try anything cosmetics-wise, and when I saw perfumes with scents like Dirt and Play-Doh? I was all up in it.

Demeter Fragrances have been around since, well, I don’t know when. Their stupid website (www.demeter.com) doesn’t say. However, I’ve been aware of them since around 1999, when I bought their Earl Grey tea scent and their Sugar Cookie scent. I used to wear them together so I’d smell like teatime.

Basically, Demeter makes over 200 different perfumes that are really odd. For instance, they have a scent called Funeral Home, and danged if it doesn’t really smell like a funeral home. They also have scents that smell like cocktails (cosmos, mojitos, black Russians), candy from our childhood (Junior Mint, Dots, cotton candy), and even themes. One perfume theme they have right now smells like the eruption of Mount St. Helens, which suggests you combine their singular fragrances of Dirt, Dust, Frasier Fir, and Lava Rock.

Demeter claims they provide single, subtle, singular scents to be worn each day, everywhere. Now, I do not know that I want to smell like a Tootsie Roll at my daughter’s wedding, which would be odd in so many ways, mostly because I have no kids. But their scents (or "flavors," as they annoyingly put it on their website) run the gamut from really silly (there is cannabis scent, for when you totally want to be fired) to really good (Bulgarian Rose is delish, and I cannot say enough about how clean and refreshing Laundromat is).

You will be stunned at how much these fragrances really smell like what they say. The Waffle Cone? You’ll want to eat it. Now, sometimes this is gross and you think, "I do not want to smell like a wet garden." But sometimes they are just the ticket.

And they’re not that expensive. I have found most 1-oz. bottles to be around 20 bucks. And they even have $5 mini bottles, if you want to get a bunch and play.

And what’s great is, as they tell you, these are singular scents. That means you can combine them with other Demeter perfumes and make your own scent, like I did with the teatime thing. I don’t know why I thought it’d be sexy to smell like old British Aunt Ida pouring the tea, but there you go.

You can purchase these perfumes on their website, demeterfragrance.com, but what’s really fun is going somewhere and trying them. They have a store locater coming to their website soon, but I have found a pretty good selection at Sephora and also at several pretentious cosmetic stores in LA. I also sometimes found a few here or there at boutiques in different cities, and even the Hustler store on Sunset Boulevard. No, I really don’t know what I was doing at the Hustler store. It is just one of those things you have to go into at least once.

The things I found in that store is another blog altogether.